Flying Colors

As a recent (yet temporary) transplant to Corpus Christi, TX, I am becoming acutely aware that my time to wear longsleeves, long pants, hoodies and black (as per my usual) is growing short...and I'm terrified. The mere thought of a warm weather wardrobe, and I mean real warm-- not the Seattle warm, is enough to make me have convulsions. Going on vacation to a tropical island is one thing; living in the throes of a humid wasteland is another. Here is my experience with the fashion in Corpus Christi so far, as related by the late great Andy Warhol:

"When I see people dressed in hideous clothes that look all wrong on them, I try to imagine the moment when they were buying them and thought, 'This is great. I like it. I'll take it.' You can't imagine what went off in their heads to make them buy those maroon polyester waffle-iron pants, or that acrylic halter that has 'Miami' written in glitter. You wonder what they rejected as not beautiful-- an acrylic halter top that had 'Chicago?'"

Pretty dismal, I know.

Lying on the beach in St. Barth's, one could get away with a billowy caftan, T-strap thong sandals, and an oversized sun-hat. If I wore that to Wal-Mart, even the regular crazies might wonder. Then again, the eccentric-old-lady-from-Boca-Raton look has always intrigued me, in a sort of decaying glamour kind of way...dark lipstick, a housecoat, greek key pattern, a turban...but I digress: it's not a practical thing for someone my age, or my station thus far. I would need to be at least on my third marriage to pull that off, so I have a long way to go.

The problem lies in the fact that I like my clothing as it is, and it's not easy to just shed ones' identity-- and I do consider black as my identity-- like last year's gauchos. I LIKE my closed-toe flats, my black jeans, my sweaters, and being pale. Am I the only one that thinks the whole heroin-chic thing is still chic? (Though sadly, I'll never be skinny enough to really pull it off). So the question becomes: what is going to be my warm weather heroin chic? The only flip flops I own were purchased for a costume when I was Britney Spears at a white trash party. Hardly legitimate for public use!

Ok, so no billowy caftan, but I'll be here Spring thru Summer essentially, and I'm going to treat it like an extended holiday. Besides, perhaps I've been too quick to dismiss color as a viable option for living. There are lots of great colors out there! Like...brown...and gray. I know-- beige! That's light and airy! Do you even know how many shades of tan there are?

I jest people, I jest.

After careful consideration, I have chosen my Spring/Summer '08 color palette*! Here they are, presented to the tune "Y'all Ready for This" by 2 Unlimited (with flashing lights):

*Decisions subject to change

Canary Yellow (loud whoops)

Violet (scattered applause)

Tangerine (audible whistles)

Kelly Green (surprised whispers)

Indigo (widespread nods)

(Clothes courtesy of nordstrom.com, net-a-porter.com, intermixonline.com, forever21.com, bananarepublic.com, vivre.com)

And thus my new identity is born. Natural fibers are a key element to warm weather dress, and so I'm looking for cotton and linen for the most part. I'm usually not a big fan of chiffon (especially for bridesmaid dresses), but for night it could work as a cocktail dress, or flowy halter-top with some wide-leg white linen pants. Er, scratch that-- better make flowy haltertop equal folded Pucci scarf instead. I feel the same way about shoes as I do about clothing-- natural is the way to go. That means I'll be eschewing patent leather for now (it's time has come anyway, je pense), and be going with leather sandals, cheerful tennis shoes/boat shoes, and my one pair of jelly shoes (a childhood favorite).